How Can I Validate That Person? Part 5

Now that my dad passed away, the challenge is for my mom, who feels alone. She requires a strong determination to continue her life; and as for me, as well as for other relatives, we have the strong determination to overcome our individual pain, and cheer her up. Please remember that the release of my book The Secret Way of Alice in Amazon, has been rescheduled for April 22.

An example of a strong determination, a deep personal commitment, an inflexible decision to carry out your desire or the idea or project you want to manifest in external life, is the oath of honor of Simon Bolivar, a Venezuelan politician of 19^th Century, who contributed to the political independence of six South American countries from the Spanish power. Well, today I feel sympathy for Spain, and in fact I am Mexican and Spaniard, thanks to laws that permit double nationality. Of course, Simon Bolivar knew he should not swear in vain, and declared, "I swear before you, I swear by the God of my parents, I swear by them, I swear by my honor, and I swear by my country not to give rest to my arm nor rest to my soul until I have broken the chains that oppress us by the will of the Spanish power."

Wow! What an expression of right resolution, of deep personal commitment! That´s the model, or one model of what our firm determination should be to carry out our desire, our main project, and to have it be in alignment with the essential truths we have learned and comprehended.

We could rephrase it as follows, "I swear before you, I swear by the God of my parents, I swear by them, I swear by my honor, and I swear by my country not to give rest to my arm nor rest to my soul until I have broken the chains, attachments and suffering that oppress me by the will of what my mind has been until today."

This means as if we said: by “the will of myself”, but it would be more exact to say by “the will of the stuff that has been gathered in my subconscious mind.” Or, even better, by “the conditioning of my culture that I have in the past absorbed and accepted.”

This is powerful. This is the gift of power for you today, from Simon Bolivar.

This blog is about your deep transformation. So, from the following blog, please visit my new address: deeptransformation.blogspot.com

Travis Arias

I´m here for you…

I invite you to achieve your deep transformation.

How Can I Validate That Person? Part 4

I am mourning the death of my dad. The release of my book The Secret Way of Alice is postponed, for now, for April 22, but I will confirm it. The actions of preparation to launch the book require an amount of energy that I am still gathering.

It is absurd and ridicule to talk bad of others, because you and all those others are the same Being, just manifested through a different vehicle. The same electricity illuminating through different light bulbs. When you offend someone, you are offending yourself, and you are addressing your offense to the Spirit, of course, since the Spirit is in all of us.

Jose Marti, a Cuban hero of 19^th Century, stated the idea of right talking in a beautiful way. He said, “Words are useless if they do not carry behind them a clean and honest heart, if they do not create, if they do not clarify, if they do not add, if they do not attract. Words are useless if they do not carry behind them a clean and honest heart.”

Suppose you are going to speak. Think before speaking. Will your words create, clarify, add or attract? No? Please be quite. My mother used to say, “You have lost the brilliant opportunity to remain quite, to remain silent.” Create as opposed to destroy. Of course I do not mean “Be creative in you insults”. No, no. Listen with your heart. Create with your words. Clarify as opposed to confounding the other person. I do not mean “tell him clearly what all his defects are”. No, no, no. I mean work to make yourself understood, kindly, and thinking of the life situation in which the other person is. The same with add. Add constructively, positively. Do not add misery to insult. Do not pour lemon over the hurt. The same with attract. Be nicely attractive.

Every word you speak is an affirmation or a negation of reality. There are many schools that teach you to select carefully and repeat constantly specific positive affirmations or decrees, because your words affect your subconscious mind, and help to determine your life.

Buddha was very clear too. His Eightfold Noble Path starts with practicing Right Vision. This means seeing or comprehending the four noble truths which will be discussed in our last lecture (and we would add the two essential underlying truths). The second stage of the noble path is Right Resolution. 

Once you know the theory, once you see or comprehend the essential and noble truths, many people do not have the discipline enough to practice it along their lives.

It takes a firm resolution to do it. A firm decision to be congruent, to ensure that every thought, every action, and every word you think, do and say, are aligned to or consistent with the essential and noble truths. That means you must be alert, aware of yourself, you must remember yourself, well, all time. Not just fifteen minutes a day, or not just during your meditation time. All day. Well, all day today. Or just right now, in the present. And then in the next present moment, and so on and so forth.

Travis Arias

I´m here for you…

For your deep transformation.

How Can I Validate That Person? Part 3

My dad just died ... He passed away on March 29. The last two days he wanted to be alone. He did not want to talk. He wanted to be alone, with himself, as if preparing to make the great transition. He passed away without physical pain… Now he is at peace.

The theory tells us that death is a transition to a different state, and that in itself, it is not a bad thing. But for those around a loved one, and despite the theory, it is a difficult experience… very difficult. More difficult for my mom. Anyway…

This has also meant that the release on Amazon of my book, The Secret Path of Alice, has been postponed again, now for next Saturday, April 8.

I have told you that validation means that you find the other person, every other person, intelligent and attractive. And, if possible, wonderful, and enchanting. I know what some of you may be thinking. “But how will I find him or her intelligent and attractive, if he or she is an awful person, a son of a blip blip blip? But my boss is a horrible person. My husband is a drunkard and a womanizer. My former friend is a bitch, who tried to steal my husband”.

I have also told you that to answer this, first you need to learn a certain discrimination.

Through space there are multiple cosmic rays traveling. Every night we see a myriad of stars, each one sending its light through space. And those cosmic rays are also energy. Scientists are still studying how energy permeates the universe. Maybe it its full of Higgs bosoms, which manifest as energy fields throughout the universe, including through you and through me. You don´t see them, but they are here, and there, and over there too. Energy impregnates the universe.

In it we live, we move, and we have our being. Energy is everywhere. Now, just change the name, and say, for example, “spirit” or “conscience” or “light”. It takes your form, your body, and then we know that you are a portion of light named Jane or John or whatever. You and I are the spirit living through you, trying to manifest itself through you, seeing through your eyes, hearing through your ears, touching through your hands. That is what we call conscience of unity. The appearance of separation is just an illusion. We are all the same, part of the same vast ocean of light.

Imagine the ground in a town. Visualize the soil passing through different houses and through their gardens. It is the same soil. You build a gate, and you see two houses separated by the gate. But underlying them, it is the same soil, which is not interrupted. Chemists would say it does not interrupt continuity. It is the same soil. There is an underlying unity of soil, and the different houses give us the appearance of separation.

Timbiriche, a Mexican pop music group, sang with whole wisdom: “You and I are One and the Same” (of course they had another context). But that phrase it true. Maybe you watched a film called “What the Blip Do We Know!?” In a scene the protagonist suddenly sees each other person as herself. 

Suppose she is Mary. She sees Maries all over the city. At the cinema, in the street, everywhere. Everywhere she looks around, she sees Maries.

You and I, and he, and she, we are all the same. A portion of space or, if you rather, a portion of light with a name, with a label.

Travis Arias

I´m here for you…

For your deep transformation.

How Can I Validate That Person? Part 2

I have been out of circulation a few days because my dad is in the process of dying. The doctor has said that the outcome may occur at any time, but no more than a week or two, or perhaps a little more. He has no pain (which is a privilege in his agony), but he is weak, very weak, every day weaker ...

This has also meant that the release on Amazon of my e-book The Secret Way of Alice, has been postponed from Saturday March 25 to the following Saturday, April 1.

I have told you that validation means that you find the other person, every other person, intelligent and attractive. And, if possible, wonderful and enchanting. Jejeje, I know what some of you may be thinking. “But how will I find him or her intelligent and attractive, if he or she is an awful person, a son of a blip blip blip? But my boss is a horrible person. My husband is a drunkard and a womanizer. My former friend is a bitch, who tried to steal my husband”.

I have also told you that to answer this, first you need to learn how to discriminate. Discriminate means to recognize a distinction, to differentiate. You need to learn how to discriminate between your real You, your Being, and your false Ego.

The clearest answer I have seen to the question what am I? has been elaborated by the Hermetic Teachings, summarized in a small book called “The Kybalion.”

The Hermetic Teachings state that the Creator or the All –although unknowable- is an infinite living mind, and all the phenomenal world or universe is a mental creation of the All. The All is in all, the All is immanent in every part, particle or unit within the universe, including rocks, plants, animals, and the human being. Being immanent means that the All is remaining within, is inherent, abiding within the human being.

There is a clear illustration as follows. Imagine that the All, the Spirit, is the ocean, and I am a drop of water. The drop of water cannot say “I am the ocean”, since every other drop would laugh at it. 

However, the ocean is immanent in the drop of water, and the drop of water participates of the nature and attributes of the ocean.

Today physicists agree with Ancient Wisdom that everything is made of tiny particles or waves of energy interacting ones with others, That includes a table, the air, a wall and, yes, you and me! There is energy all over the universe. You are just an incorporation of energy, taking the form of a human being.

Physicists also agree that the distance between one particle of energy and other are as distant in proportion as a planet is distant to another orb, star or planet. Between them there is space, a vast expansion of space. That is why my former teacher told my daughter. “Who are you? “Or “What are you?” “You are a portion of space named Annia”.

Travis Arias

Yo estoy aquí para ti

I´m here for you

How Can I Validate That Awful Person? Part 1

What does people want in a relationship? What they want is Validation. Validation. Validation. I state it three times because it is a very, very, very important thing. Validation. And what does validation mean?

Validation means that you find the other person, every other person, intelligent and attractive. And, if possible, wonderful and enchanting. Jejeje, I know what some of you may be thinking. “But how will I find him or her intelligent and attractive, if he or she is an awful person, a son of a blip blip blip? But my boss is a horrible person. My husband is a drunkard and a womanizer. My former friend is a bitch, who tried to steal my husband”.

To answer this, first you need to learn how to discriminate. Discriminate means to recognize a distinction, to differentiate. You need to learn how to discriminate between your real You, your Being, and your false Ego.

You would need to know who you are, and who the other person is, who any other person is. And you need to know what is called “the conscience of unity”. These two are the two underlying truths of all noble truths.

When a man asks a mystic, who I am? The mystic´s correct answer should be: “I don´t know. I am an ineffable, fathomless mystery.” This is comparable to “The Tao of which we can speak is not the true Tao”. That´s because I am unknowable, fathomless, ineffable. You are unknowable, fathomless, and ineffable.

But an approximation would be: I am. Or I am that I am. 

Walt Whitman starts the “Song of Myself” stating, “I celebrate myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” Leon Felipe paraphrases him as follows: "I celebrate myself and I sing to myself. And what I now say about me, I say about you, because what is in me, is also in you, and every atom of my body is yours too."

What am I? I am. I am. I am. There is no need for more. But we like more. That is why I Am said to Moses. Ok. Here´s more: I Am That I Am. Incapable of defining or restricting Himself, He only says “I am That I Am”, or Being, What Is. That is what Jehovah means. The Being. Or the Spirit. Or, if you are a Hindu, the Aum. Or the Universal Mind. Or the Creator. Or Light. Or the Word. Or, as the Kybalion states, the All or the Substantial Reality underlying all the outward manifestations and appearances which we know under the terms of “the material universe”.

What am I? This may be answered also using any of the attributes of the Being. Since we cannot talk about what the Being is, because the Tao of which we may talk is not the true Tao, the God of which we may talk is not the true God, we however may talk of his or her attributes, through which it may manifest in external life. Freedom, Love, Happiness, Peace, Wisdom. Every positive quality is an attribute of the Being.

That is why Ancient Wisdom says, “God is Love”. And Love implies an essential morality, which means not to intentionally harm oneself or others. If we Are Love, we Love everybody and everything. No exceptions? No exceptions.

The Key to Relationships: Love and Validate Others

Oprah Winfrey tells us that the key to relationships is to validate others. I add: do it with love. All people have one thing in common: they all want validation. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I am saying mean anything to you? Validation means that you may tell them: I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.

Validation means that you consider the other person as intelligent and attractive. And if you want to practice an upgraded validation, add this: find the other person wonderful and enchanting!

Validation may start with compliments. With showing approval. With making the other feel accepted.

To tolerate the anxiety of allowing people to disapprove of you.

Jessica Cohen suggests three important ways to provide validation:

Be physically present. When you are with someone, really be in the moment with them. Make eye contact during conversation and avoid unnecessary distractions.  Let that person know you care by giving them your full attention. Give a hug, a pat on the shoulder or hold a hand when it is needed.

Be empathetic.  When you feel sympathy for someone, you recognize their emotional response to a situation.  As Oprah stated, people simply want others to understand them.  Our innate ability to see an issue from another person’s perspective is authentic, it is real and it provides validation.

Be an active listener.  Active listening is focusing on the conversation at hand and nothing else.  It means giving the other person your full attention.  It is a sign of consideration and respect. 

Validate others, but do not try to be validated. That is freedom. Try to be self-validated. Remember the Prayer of Saint Francis: Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.

We may add: Grant that I may not so much seek to be validated as to validate!

But a friend of mine asked me: how can I validate that awful person?

The answer to this question will be in my next blog.

Love surrounds you

Love surrounds you

Tony de Mello tells us a nice story about some people who have suffered a shipwreck off the coast of Brazil. They had drifted for several days on a rickety raft, and were about to die of thirst. You know that we cannot drink the sea water because it is so salty that it is not drinkable for the human being. Instead of quenching thirst, it exacerbates it, damaging our body, and in the case of shipwrecks in the open sea, ingesting it accelerates death, instead of slowing it down.

Then, being in the sea off the coast of Brazil, they did not drink the water that surrounded them, and were about to literally die of thirst. However, these castaways did not know that the Amazon River empties its fresh water with such force on the sea, that for some kilometers the sea is “a sea of ​​fresh water”, before beginning to dilute and become a normal sea of saltwater. They had no idea that the water they were floating on was fresh water, water they could drink. They had no idea that this was their Reality.

It is like the fish in Kabir's poem, who says, “I laughed when I was told that the fish in the water was thirsty.” Of course, the fish do have an organism equipped to drink salt water. And yet the poet Kabir says, “I laughed when I was told that the fish in the water was thirsty.” You would have to talk to that fish and tell him, “Are you a fish in the water? Mm-hmm. Are you a fish? Mm-hmm. Are you thirsty? Oh, come on! It's ridiculous. All the ocean water surrounds you. How can you be thirsty?”

In the same way, freedom, love, happiness, peace, and wisdom surround you. They impregnate you to the marrow of the bones. But, if you're like most people, you have no idea about this. You have no idea that you are like the shipwrecked people with plenty of fresh water, fresh water everywhere. You are a fish and you are looking for the ocean.

If that's your case, it's as if you've been brainwashed, or hypnotized. You are sleeping. Imagine a magician in the theater who hypnotizes someone so that the person sees things that do not exist, that are not there (unpleasant emotions, which do not belong to the realm of Reality, but to false delusion). And the hypnotized person cannot see what it is there in Reality. Well that's what happens.

The Reality is that abundant freedom, love, happiness, peace, and wisdom surround you. They are like juicy and delicious fruits that are within reach of your hand at all times. Come on! Wake up and stretch your hand! There it is… there it is… Stretch your hand and grasp the act of loving, your freedom ... Love means to feel: “I am here for you.” Freedom means to feel love at this moment without attachments or unpleasant emotions… Smile. You have it. Do not let it go. It's yours…